Thursday, January 31, 2013

For all the old people who aren't thinking anymore

For the old people who know how to use the internet (50+), thank gods you do. This is the time that young people (like me) know that there are many types of people who are totally different from me, because we like to roam around social websites. But for most of your people, I don't think they know it, or they will accept it. So please be different from them. 

Because I think it's about time for you (too) to think of the effects of your actions. Kids are always being told to do that. Teenagers are always doing that. Not too many times are elder people being told to do so. So I'm telling you now.


I'll tell you my story.

It was during my kindergarten days, while we were waiting for someone to pick us up. My funny classmate (a boy) was laughing at one of my girl classmate (let's call her J). She was a friend actually, because we sat beside each other and kids became friends just by sitting beside each other. Anyway, he was making fun of her, and I laughed at his jokes. J cried to her chaperone, so the chaperone, her grandmother (GM), confronted us. But because the fetcher (what's the english word for tagasundo? O.o) of the funny classmate arrived earlier than mine, I was the one that was fried[napagbuntungan]. She scolded me. I can't remember what exactly did the GM said and what I answered back (if I did), but I too ended up crying and what I clearly remembered was that I held J's hand and so that she could slap me, with my guidance, for her 'revenge'. At the end, they went home, and I was left alone the classroom. Because my sundo was hours late, and I was so humiliated, I thought of not going to school anymore. I got my emergency box (the one filled with extra clothes, tissue, soap - required for kids to bring at the start of school year so that kids peeing and pooping at the school premises will be ready), and told my sundo that I will not go back there. She asked me why but I didn't give an answer. Months after, J made moves for us to be friends again, but I was so afraid of offending her again so I didn't speak to her anymore. We forgave each other, yes, but because of the meddling GM, things worsen. 
The thing here is, if GM didn't meddle with childish things (yes, us. She humiliated J for her acts, too), if she just consoled J, we would be friends again, and I wouldn't have this trauma.

Yes, I realize just now that I have trauma of things like that because of an incident that happened this morning.

I was going out of my boarding house (I live at the 4th floor of a four-floor buildling.), and old women (who I didn't know because it was the first time that I saw them) living at the third floor cleaning the hall near the stairs suddenly talked (shouted at?) to me and asked me if I've seen my landlord because they would complain about his cigarette butts in their halls. But after asking, they didn't wait for my answer (which was, that I didn't see my landlord), they complained directly at me. They complained about other things too, in a very offensive (the action of attacking an enemy) manner. (One complained about a delivery that I didn't get, which I really regretted and was so sorry for[continued here], one complained about the leaks that they are getting from our toilet) I told them to soften their voices because it's still morning and mood shouldn't be ruined yet; the toilet one heard me, the delivery one didn't. So I fixed my attention to the toilet one: she complained and I addressed her by saying that I would text what she's telling me to my landlord (and I did), and she almost apologized that they ranted problems at me. But the delivery one, she didn't stop ranting (she even called me walang-hiya). We didn't meet at all - I tried, but she could not be stopped. So we didn't resolve anything. I was shaking during the entire 'conversation'. I told them so. I told them that I was shaking because of THEIR anger. 
I walked out when the toilet one let me go (the delivery one COULDN'T let me go but I couldn't wait for her). I was still shaking. I was on the verge of crying (forgive me, I didn't let out angry emotions to them so my emotions went up to my eyes), and my heart ached, like I was having when I drank lots of coffee. I was [nahihilo] too. These physical reactions made me conclude that I have trauma. 

So. What I got out of these experiences are: 
1. Bravo to me because I didn't level with the their anger. 
2. I don't like old women like them, meddling with everything, judging people, not thinking of the consequences of their actions or words. By judging, this is what I meant: From incident 2, I still heard them talking to themselves after I walked out, one telling the other that I was the suplada (a snob) girl from above. It's first time that I saw them, I didn't even know their names, and I was suplada. What does that statement says about them, if I don't know them and they are familiar with me? They should've tested me first e.g. smile at me, and when I didn't return the favor, that's the cue to say I'm a snob. 
3. The thought that THEY should know that they hurt people. I was thinking of writing a letter to the delivery woman, about what I felt and about how hurtful she was. Pure facts. What do you think? A letter because she definitely would not hear me out if I will give a speech. Also, 
4. I don't want to see them anymore, thus, I will move out ASAP.
5. Wisdom doesn't go along with age after all.

What old people should get out of my experiences are:
1. You shouldn't BULLY people just because they are younger. 
2. You are capable of hurting people too. I've heard many rants from you that you aren't being respected anymore. Well, it's a two way process: respect us and we'll respect you, too. 
3. Yes, you are not the only ones who should be respected. 
4. It's bad to meddle with the affairs of others, and it's worse to involve innocent people to one's affair and blame them for it.
5. On Children by Khalil Gibran.

For the delivery guy

For the delivery guy that I deserted, I was truly sorry. I ordered the food because I was so hungry, so I haven't got any reason to desert you at all. I was waiting for the texts (I was wide awake), but my cellphone must not have been working properly that I felt it vibrating after the fifth text. I immediately went down but didn't see anyone there. I waited some minutes more but to no avail. 

I didn't receive texts or comments from you after that. What saddens me is that you should've directed your complaints to me instead of telling it to the woman downstairs. I didn't mean to not get the food, but by the way the woman said it to me, it looked like you told her the opposite of it without even getting my side. It didn't resolve anything, fyi. Because of how the woman ranted at me, my feelings of regret decreased. Also, this incident should have only generated negative feelings from you to me, but because of you getting the woman involved, I also generated negative feelings for you, too. 

And my feelings matter because you're the one who's in business.

This whole incident should be less saddening if only it's just me who was a dick. 

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Best Dinner

I had the best dinner at Lutong Bahay (with all the biases playing for LB)! First of all, I was extremely hungry that time, almost past 9 pm because I haven't eaten since 12:30 pm, and I only ate pancit canton. Also, I can't effing believe that I ate six siomais and a cup of rice (plus soup-like toyomansi-chili combo) for only 26 effing pesos! I was the luckiest. I drank two glasses of water to celebrate my luck.

Love, poorita girl.

Saturday, January 12, 2013

What life lessons you learned as a teen would you pass on to your daughter/niece/inaanak to help them start their teen years right?

This is my entry to Human Nature's latest promo. :)
Here's the link, if you want to join, too:

The lessons that I DIDN’T learn when I was a teenager but now I know that I should’ve learned them during those times are, in summary: Do what you want passionately, have specific dreams for your future and aim high at that, and learn something from your education.
1.       Your life is what you only have. Do what you want with it, as long as you remember that you still have obligations to your parents. When they tell you to prioritize your studies because it will take you a long way, listen. But don’t forget that schooling is not your entire life. Don’t get too grade conscious to the point that you’re missing out on many things already. And in everything you do, do it with passion (because mediocrity will lead you somewhere, but not on the place where you really want to be in).
2.       Don’t just dream to graduate with high grades; dream what you want to be after college. One should have something to aspire to as early as possible, because it’s not a sure straight path that you’ll be walking in after graduation.
3.       You, as well as everyone else, are required by your school to know the information and knowledge that’s in the curriculum. Among these, one or two subjects will be your favourite because they sparked your interest. It may not be a subject, though; it may be an extracurricular activity like chess or basketball or doodling. I encourage you to excel in them. Spend more time honing your skill/s, because you will not know what you can do if you don’t.
In addition, I learned that worrying is not a good friend to have, so don’t waste time worrying. Just enjoy life like you’ll never enjoy it tomorrow. A smile is a good companion, though. So always smile, because you are beautiful. If someone told you otherwise, don’t listen to them because they do not know what they are saying. You have youth in your side, and you have a wonderful life and future ahead of you, and that’s what makes you beautiful.

UPDATE: I won. :)  Link here. Congratulations to me. Yay!
Here's my prizes!