Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet

Dear Chester,

I'm again experiencing the inevitable bad days of my life. They're not the worst, but I just wish it's 12 am already so I can sleep at peace. I'm angry about all the little things, and even though I have my pupper Twinkle and my boyfriend J, it's like they're not enough to go through those days. So just like the old days, I run back to you and your band. Just hearing you release your feelings through your songs helps. You just know what to say; you know how to put words for these better than me. I know what you felt was way way worse than this, we're sorry we didn't listen.

If there's a place where dead people go, I hope to meet you there, some day.

Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend

 Back to the challenge  that I'm trying to finish, I would love to write these letters to my 2 online friends.


Dear bookish internet friend,
I miss you. I hope you'll be active in Messenger again. When was the last time we chatted anyway?
(checked)
Wow, it's been years! I hope you're doing well. Have you read interesting books lately? Well, for me,  I was soo behind my book challenge for this year. I've just read 2 books and it's already September! Ughhh.
But really, I'm glad you faced your demons already. I can still chat with you even though you're still facing them currently, you know? I can be your ears/shoulder to cry on. You can even ask my second internet friend, he'll tell you I'm a good listener hehe.

Let's chat again soon,
Book friend



Dear curious internet friend,
I love your stories. It's like you're living my dream(s) for me. I hope you'll stay curious, but safe. Moreover, in terms of your current endavors, I believe you can do it. You can chat with me any time for moral support :). Let's please don't stay out of touch.

Please say hi to sir for me hehe,
Curious-without-action friend

Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

Continuing with the challenge that's running for n years now, here's a letter for a never-my-ex but an equally important person that's been a part of my life for about 10 effing years (~1/3 of my fucking life). 

I just don't know what to say to my exes but congratulations on having their cute families. There are no hangups whatsoever. It'll be a boring 2-sentence letter. On the other hand, I'm too old to have crushes, so I picked this guy to write to. 

PS. You are the only exception, my lovely boyfriend. You are my home and my bliss. I wish to be with you forever. I love you, sweet.


Hey, you,

Don't you miss writing online? I've never erased our e-mails; once in a while I check on them and brood about why we can never be friends now. Haha, typical.

On that note, I know we are never for each other. Thinking back, I'm relieved that we did not have a chance to be together as an official couple. We would destroy each other. I want a handful of things in a relationship that I know you won't give, and of course it's the same for you. I remembered when we tried to show our feelings to each other - I told you I liked you; you responded with a "Thank you". You were always just a text away - you were practically my diary, but I did not see the value of time then. I did not responded well with your love language and I guess neither did you with mine. We both felt rejected even though it's not the case at all.

Plus, time's a bitch for both of us. I was almost always ready to have a man in my life, and you never were. I don't want to call you my rebound, but we were always in touch during my 'breaks'. Anyway I was also there when you had your first break up, so. 

Still, it's sad knowing that 1/3 of my life, you were a constant, and now you're not.

Anyway, congratulations for us on finding our perfect partners! I'm so happy we're both happy.

You will always be the kindest, most saintly person I have ever met.

Love,
Your asymptote

Day 6 — A stranger

I've been sitting on this letter challenge for ever now, & I think I'll be able to finish it this year! Hahaha hurray!

Ok, so now I'm Day 6 and it's for a stranger. Here goes...


Dear stranger,

I imagine you're from the Philippines. I hope we'll both be alive when the Probinsyano ends. I hope we won't be living the Marcos' copycat's dream anytime soon. 

Anyhoo, I've been dying to tell someone everything that's good in the world, so you'll have a handful of stuff from me. :)

1. Life is not fair. It's not a fairy tale. Everyone dies at the end. But, as my favorite author Neil Gaiman eloquently wrote here (please read it because I could not do justice in summarizing his words), if faced between two evils, and there's a good thing in the middle, just enjoy the good thing. 

2. Live your true self. I can't do this all the time so I want to always be with myself or with my boyfriend, but if you still can change your life to be who you want to be, do it. It's just one take, you know. There's no next chance. 

3. Likewise, there's this classic song that spoke right through me on a different level this midlife crisis of mine, and it's 
<drumroll>

This is my favorite part:

Didn't make sense not to live for fun

Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

Who cares if you're not a lawyer, or a doctor, or an engineer? If you don't want to be one, don't want to be one. We can take the not-yet-built path and it's alright. We may not have plans for our future yet - still fine. If you want to have fun, and you have the means, go for it. If you don't have the means, work hard, then party harder after. (Debts are deadly, don't do it.) The song's message is all about breaking the mold. No one should care about the mold. It's made by a society that doesn't consider one's feelings. 

4. Own a dog. They're the best companions ever. If the humans keep failing you, just go to your dog and everything will be lighter to handle. 

Our dog, Twinkle!

5. Own your body. It's not the state's, your religion's or your boyfriend's. It's yours. Do what you want with it. Know every corner and detail of your beautiful body, because it's a sad sad thought that many of my acquaintances won't touch certain parts of their bodies on an ordinary day unless they have to! It's crazy. 

6. Your moral code is only yours. If you have a religion as your basis, and I have none, it's none of your business. And vice versa,as long as you're not hurting anyone. Most especially as long as you're not imposing it to everyone. It's disgusting. You may coat it as discipleship, but no one's been fooled by bigotry. 
Ekkk, I'm preaching already. Let's just love one another, just as the Fab5 does.

Yep, let's make world a better and cleaner place, shall we? 

   Love, 
Stranger 2






 

Animorphs 30 Day Challenge - Day 29: Howler

Day Twenty-Nine: Your favourite alien species.

Did you read 1984 by George Orwell? There's this part of the book where the protagonists, all along thinking that they were alone in the room, said "We are the dead". But then someone responded, "You are the dead". That scene, while reading it, was the most chilling but/most terrific thing that I've read. 
I associate that feeling to Howlers, too. 

Howlers, the alien species made by the evil Crayak, are made to play a game - killing game. They are these babies that thought the poor thing that they're killing is a toy that they must play with. 

I applaud K.A. Applegate for creating them. What they're doing was sick, but they're innocent; they don't know that killing is a vile thing to do, so you don't know how/what to feel for them.

I love Animorphs for all the mindfucks it gave me, and the Howlers definitely did this to me too, that's why they're my favorite aliens.

Animorphs 30 Day Challenge: Day 28 - Ellimist or Crayak

Day Twenty-Eight: The Ellimist or Crayak?

The Crayak (image from the link).

Image from the link.

I can't choose Crayak. He's scary and bullies Jake. He made Howlers (which is a fantastic creature added in the list of 'wtf ftw monsters in fiction' by the way. You rock, K.A. Applegate), who were programmed to look at murder as a game. 

Plus I don't get his point - why would he want to destroy everything just to rule the ultimate species? Why would he want to rule the species who could be so destructive (I'm speculating here that they would be.) that they could kill each other in the long run? What would he do/create with these creatures anyway?

So I'll pick the Ellimist.

Who would you pick?

Animorphs 30 Day Challenge: Day 26 - Movie

Day Twenty-Six: Would you be for or against an Animorphs movie?

-Against, at first. I want it to be an HBO series please. Then, Megamorphs movie for the fans that will be 'bitin' from the series' end. Oh, yes.

Animorphs 30 Day Challenge: Day 25 - Change

Day Twenty-Five: If you could make one change to the series, what would it be?

• I would want to have an extensive 'closure' to what happened to the parents. One book would suffice, hehehe. In Eva's POV. It could start at book 53.

• I would eliminate The One, which still gives me the creeps thinking about what he did with dear Ax. 

• I would let Rachel live. Why, because Tobias and Rachel's relationship is the only relationship that didn't dive in the sea of doubts. I reread book 53 then 3 after, and it really saddened me, the way their relationships (Rachel-Cassie, Cassie-Jake, Jake-Marco) plummeted. I would let Tobias be happy, for once. I have this faith in him that he could give Rachel the therapy that she would need after the war. I ship Rachel/Marco but I really believe that if Rachel lived, R/T would make it. (I hated it that J/C didn't make it. It's like shoving reality into my fiction world, and it disturbs me. Fairy tales are a thing of beauty, if you would look at it. No more whys after reading them, because they lived happily ever after all. They're easy, in contrast with the Animorphs.)

Animorphs 30 Day Challenge: Day 24 - Matured

Day Twenty-Four: Who do you think matured the most throughout the series?

Tobias.
I knew him from the start as this shy boy who needed help from more stable people like Jake to take care of the bullies for him.
Then, he became a hawk, and he accepted the responsibility to take care of himself. From learning to accept his hawk diet to managing his pains after the war all by himself, he endured the most life phases at a very short time, throughout the series.
That's why reading his POV when I was a kid was not as fun, because I couldn't find myself to think like that then, unlike Marco's or Ax's POV where jokes were seen all over. But I enjoyed rereading them now, well, because I went through some life phases myself that I can relate to him already.

Animorphs 30 Day Challenge: Day 23 - Headcanon

- Marco and Rachel like each other. They could be a thing if both of these two would happen:

1. Eva would not die. I think Marco's cynicism started when she 'died'. Then, seeing his dad fall apart because of that made him guard his heart indefinitely.
2. Tobias would not be a birdboy. He and Rachel got too close when he became a nothlit.

These two are so important in the plotline of the series, that, yeah, they could never be erased. Basically M/R would only happen in fan fictions. That's why I am there for a long time now. LOL.

Animorphs 30 Day Challenge: Day 19 - Conversations

Day Nineteen: Three favourite quotes/conversations

Animorphs #35: The Proposal 

(1) "<Self-help books?> Ax asked. <Are they similar to instruction manuals?>

<Not exactly, Ax-man,> Tobias said. <Self-help books are like instruction books for living.>
<Indeed? Instructions for living? Such as "Consume necessary nutrients"?"Breathe sufficient air"?>"

This is my first favorite Animorphs conversation that I can remember. I even make 'Breathe sufficient air' as a motto once. Ax makes me laugh out loud most of the time. 

(2) “But mostly, I remembered what I’ve always believed. What my mom taught me. That while some things are just plain awful, most things in life can be seen either tragic or comic. And it’s your choice. Is life a big, long, tiresome slog from sadness to regret to guilt to resentment to self-pity? Or is life weird, outrageous, bizarre, ironic, and just stupid? Gotta go with stupid. It’s not the easy way out. Self pity is the easiest thing in the world. Finding the humor, the irony, the slight justification for a skewed, skeptical optimism. That’s tough." - Marco

This is straight to the heart. I'm a pity person, but I'm doing my best to get out of that because it doesn't make any difference. Sulking isn't the way out. And Marco is one fine example how to make a way out. 

Animorphs #54: The Beginning 

(3) Did it matter? In the end. My life and my - my death - did it change anything? Did I matter?

Yes. You were brave. You were strong. You were good. You mattered.
-Rachel and Ellimist

This is the summation of a life story. I'm hoping that when my time comes, this would be my last thoughts. That I mattered, too. 

Animorphs 30 Day Challenge: Day 18 - Funny Aneurysm

Day Eighteen: A Funny Aneurysm Moment (FAM)

NOTE: SPOILERS AHEAD

I must say this is my FAM:
[From Book 4: The Message]

Marco's cooperative mood hadn't lasted long. I knew it wouldn't. Marco is never happy
unless he's complaining about something. Just like Rachel is never happy unless she has
something to fight against. And Tobias is never happy, period. He thinks if he's ever happy,
someone will just come along and take his happiness away.

When I read this part, I thought the POV (Cassie) was joking about Tobias, so I laughed. Out loud. This would be an FAM in Book 54 though, because the love of his life was taken away from him, at the very end of the effing series. 

I want to please give Tobias a long hug.

And this too:

Rachel's POV, Book 17:

"I think it was a dead body!"Thanks, I thought. Hope that's not a prophecy.

Animorphs 30 Day Challenge: Day 17 - Three heartwarming moments

Day Seventeen: Three heartwarming moments.

1. The characteristics of Pemalites
    - As much as how heart wrecking their end might be, Pemalites, as how they were, are heart warming. When I read the part where their story was being told, I was all 'Awww, I want to meet one.' Their chosen innocence is sweet it makes my heart melt and makes me want a dog so much.

2. Aftran and Cassie's deal
    - To be introduced to a Yeerk who didn't like the war they started for the first time is so good for my Yeerk-hating heart. Applegate had done a great job here in demonstrating the gray areas of life. The Departure should be read not only once.

3. Rachel, crying over Cassie's caterpillar incident
    -  I've just reread book 19: The Departure after reading books 50-54.  They've changed a lot because of the war, and inevitably, relationships suffered. So I was deeply touched by Rachel, crying over Cassie.in book 19 because from feeling so down due to the Animorphs' doubts with each other's motives from the last books, here comes a refreshing part of their story: when their friendship was so fresh that it would truly devastate the hard, cool Rachel to lose Cassie. I imagine, if Rachel would lose Cassie on the last parts of the series, she would return to her memories, of how deep their friendship was, because so much strain had happened to them that their recent encounters would only count Cassie as the 'valuable part of their team'. 

Animorphs 30 Day Challenge: Day 16 - Nightmare Fuel

Day Sixteen: Three moments of nightmare fuel.

1. The ant morph. O.O
    - It's like being controlled by a Yeerk, only you have a system controlling you. I don'y know which is worse.

2. Infested Jake... and all of Tom's thoughts being fed by the Yeerk to Jake
    - Nightmarish because of emotional torture. I admire Jake's stability here, ang I would hug him if he's real. The pain, the pain.

3. All books with David. *shivers*
    - It's nightmarish for me because I don't know how to handle this gray area that is David. I don't know how I would react if I'm in their places. 

Animorphs 30 Day Challenge: Day 15 - Three moments that broke your heart

Day Fifteen: Three moments that broke your heart.
(In no particular order)
1. Jake not saving his parents.
2. Tobias being human just to cry for Rachel.
3. Marco's dad telling Marco about Eva, who tried to force her way out of the yeerk's control to tell his dad not to be involved in military.

From knowyourmeme.com

Gahd the feels.

Animorphs 30 Day Challenge: Day 14 - Battle Morph

Day Fourteen: What would you choose for a battle morph?
At first, I thought I want to be as big as an elephant or a rhino, but I never saw them move fast, so I don't know if I can handle their bodies.

Plus I think I'll be more of a Rachel-angry type fighter, so I'll choose gorilla or the grizzly. :)

Animorphs 30 Day Challenge: Day 12 - Visser Three

Day Twelve: Your thoughts on Visser Three.

I'm not a Visser Three (V3) fan. 

Image from animorphs.wikia.

I think the Earth Invasion should be credited to Visser One alone. Yes, V3 infested an Andalite, but I believe he did many things that a politician would do to hold power, just to be the one to infest an Andalite. He's not a thinker, and to lead a war, one must think 3 steps ahead of the enemy, just the way Jake did. V3 did not do that. 

Also, it takes a leader to lead, and V3 is no leader. He easily kills his subjects when he's annoyed, even the most loyal ones. And he's easily annoyed. His subjects are afraid to be killed; they're not afraid to disobey or disappoint him.

Because of his true nature - angry, impatient, impulisve, vengeful - he wouldn't win any lengthy wars, for sure. 

Animorphs 30 Day Challenge: Day 11 - A Controller I love or love to hate

Day Eleven: A Controller you love…or love to hate.

Got to be Tom's Controller. I love to hate him, because I could not just erase the thought of what the real Tom felt when they saw Jake as the leader of Animorphs, and how the Controller could just shove it away.

Anyone with fanfic featuring Tom's POV please? I would love to read it. :)

Animorphs 30 Day Challenge: Day 10 - OTP

Ever since book 1, I'm rooting for Marco and Rachel, that's why one of my favorite rereads is Megamorphs 4 (See them here. They look so good together, don't they?). 

For all fanfic writers out there, please make my OTP come true. I would want to see the changes that Marco will undergo for his love for Rachel - changes as in I kind of see him as a womanizer at book 54. 

(Had to research the meaning of OTP here. XD Had to fix my internet slang vocabulary.)

Animorphs 30 Day Challenge: Day 8/9

Day 8: TV series
It's sad to admit but I haven't watched an episode, clips or even gif of the TV series. Not since this challenge. 

I only looked it up because of Shawn Ashmore - I had a crush on him when he played Iceman in X-Men. But I did not indulge on his Animorphs stint. I'm cool with him (his physical appearance) being Jake though. 
...So all I can say about this is that I cannot love or hate a thing that I do not even care to know. I'll pass.